“Knowing others is intelligence; knowing yourself is true wisdom.”
-Lao Tzu
Deeply rooted in Psychology, the theory of Ideal Self & Actual Self talks about how a person’s perception of themselves differs from the person they wish to be. Actual Self refers to who you truly are at this moment. It encompasses your current beliefs, behaviors, strengths, weaknesses, & experiences. Ideal Self, on the other hand, represents who you want to become. It includes your aspirations, dreams, values, & the qualities you wish to embody.
Consider the example of Mia, who views her actual self as someone who struggles with time management & often feels overwhelmed due to studies & extracurricular activities. But, in contrast, her ideal self is a disciplined & confident student who balances her academics, social life & hobbies effortlessly.
How can Mia bridge the gap between her actual self & ideal self that leaves her feeling anxious & frustrated? Mia can start using planners & time management apps, seek advice from peers, & set small, achievable goals. Over time, by developing better habits & gaining confidence, she will find herself closer to her ideal self, feeling more in control & fulfilled. This journey illustrates how the discrepancy between the actual and ideal self can drive personal growth & self-improvement.
Why is it essential for Leaders to distinguish between their actual self & ideal self?
As per a study by Psychology Today, around 85% of people deal with feelings of low self-worth & self-esteem. Such people are more likely to have a hard time finding or keeping a job. This highlights the importance for Leaders to bridge the gap between their personal actual self & ideal self. When a Leader very well understands the relationship between the two, he/she can influence the lives of all around him/her. So, if you, as a Leader, need a little serotonin boost, this blog is just for you.
- Self-Awareness: Recognizing the differences between the Actual Self & Ideal Self fosters greater self-awareness. This awareness can help Leaders identify strengths & areas for improvement.
- Motivation: The Ideal Self can serve as a powerful motivator. It provides a vision of what’s possible, inspiring Leaders to take action towards their goals. This way Leaders can strive for excellence & inspire others to do the same.
- Authenticity: Leaders who acknowledge their actual selves can lead more authentically. Embracing their true selves fosters trust & respect within their teams, as they model vulnerability & honesty.
- Empathy & Connection: Understanding their own struggles allows Leaders to empathize with team members facing similar challenges. This connection can enhance team dynamics & create a supportive work environment.
- Personal Growth: Recognizing this difference encourages Leaders to pursue personal development. They can set specific goals to align their actual behavior with their ideal vision, enhancing their effectiveness.
How Leaders can Bridge the Gap
Leaders can consider the following strategies for their teams:
- Set Realistic Goals: Setting realistic goals as a team helps to achieve around 90% higher performance. Teams are made of individuals & individuals are imperfect. Leaders should be willing to understand this & set measurable goals for themselves & their teams. This makes the journey less overwhelming & also allows the team to celebrate small victories along the way.
- Reflect Regularly: Taking some time to reflect on the progress the team has made so far will help Leaders to be better equipped in recognizing where each team member needs help.
- Seek Feedback: As a Leader, giving feedback would definitely be easy but it should also be easy to accept. Superiors or even team members can provide valuable insights into their strengths & areas for growth. External perspectives can often help to understand how an individual is perceived versus how they want to be perceived.
- Practice Self-Compassion: Leaders must embrace the journey of growth without harsh judgment. They should recognize that everyone has an Actual Self that is a work in progress & treat their team with kindness as they navigate this path.
The Role of Society & Culture
It’s essential for Leaders to acknowledge that societal & cultural influences can shape both the Ideal Self & Actual Self. Social media, cultural norms, & family expectations can create unrealistic standards, leading to feelings of inadequacy. Society sets norms that shape what is considered acceptable behavior, influencing individuals’ perceptions of their actual & ideal selves. Cultural values shape ideals around success, leadership, & personal fulfillment. These values influence how individuals define their ideal selves & what they aspire to achieve.
The journey from Actual Self to Ideal Self is a personal & often non-linear process. Embracing both aspects can lead to profound self-discovery & growth. Leaders should always remember that the goal is not to reach perfection, but to grow & evolve themselves & their team into the best version of they can be—one step at a time.
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